A Little Bit of Time off Can go a Long Way. Try Taking a Pause
Small business owners think they need to work more and harder to make their business successful. Knowing their craft, understanding the management of a business and handling money effectively are valuable tools in operating a successful business. So too is taking time off.
Sounds counterintuitive: Take time off to make a business operate more efficiently. The time off makes the business owner operate more efficiently. With time away from the business, you rest and think differently – whether about planning a trip or planning dinner.
The mind is refreshed. The heart is clear, and the body is rested. These are all critical to operating a small business smoothly and successfully.
If you operate your own business, try some time away. Something simple. Start with one day or a weekend escape. The point is not to be attentive to your business consciously. This is your respite.
When your mind goes to your business focus it on something else…go back to the hike, the national monument or fabulous museum. Our minds are amazing and when we gather info from somewhere else our creativity and abilities are enhanced.
What is Financial Therapy?
Recently, two different people come into my office. Even when they have similar questions and assets, their answers may be different because finances are personalized. Money decisions must match our understanding and emotions, as well as solid financial principles. There is never only one standard answer.
One just got a job offer. Marie is delighted that the new company wants her. She has felt underappreciated in her current company despite having been there for years. The company has been having many financial problems as of late and she has survived many layoffs.
She has the education to figure out the financial details. She cannot make this decision alone. Her anxiety about leaving and making change even for a better salary is preventing her from thinking clearly. She knows it so asks for help.
The second person just got an inheritance. One hundred thousand dollars is the most that he has seen in his life. Yet, as soon as the topic of money comes up – his stress level rises, and his voice is almost shouting: “How do I know what to do?”
So far, he has been talking about the extreme approach: put nothing in the stock market and buy insurance. He needs a financial education to understand the implication of each possible decision.
What is the common denominator in these stories? Fear. Fear of doing the wrong thing. Fear of making a mistake and regretting it. What appears as indecision is a lack of confidence and information because they think there is only one right answer.
Taking the time to talk through decisions financially and emotionally, along with laying out multiple options is helpful to everyone. When the fear diminishes, the financial decision making can begin.
Financial Therapy cannot solve all the problems of the financial world, but it does make for happier and informed clients. With more understanding of themselves, they make better decisions and are prepared to consider all the options. They understand their past behavior with money and how to address their fears.
This process takes a little bit longer and the questions have to be different. Yet, for those willing to look at all sides of money behavior, they become more contented savers, investors, and spenders. The goal of financial therapy is to
Do You Know Where Your Money Is?
In casual conversation, someone told me that they were great with their investments because they had someone they trust at a big firm taking care of all that. I said terrific, how is it invested? The look they gave me was the look most people do, confusion, misunderstanding and discomfort. If I already knew what big company it was at, doesn’t that mean I know where and how it is invested?
If someone I loved was in Mercy Hospital, that would tell you one thing. But if you wanted to know more because you were close to your loved one, you would ask who the doctor is and what they were doing to them and what the diagnosis was. Yet, an established financial firm seems to be the cover for many financial questions.
There is so much more. You want to keep your money close to you and understand where it is invested or saved. You are the only one responsible, no matter who is managing the money for you. You have given them the power to manage it, but still your job is to be sure they are doing what you want. You want to communicate your needs and goals. Then, be sure they educate you and communicate with on how they are working towards your wants: where the money is invested, how risky it is and how much they are charging you to make all this happen.
Then, you will truly know and can state that your investments are doing well. The details demonstrate the truth of your money, the investment company name does not speak to your individual situation.
Your Money is Not Your Life, Your Choices are. Choose Wisely
Your money is not you. However your money represents you. How you treat yourselves, how you take care of yourself.
Money in itself is not a value for most people. It is however a tool about how we take care of our lives. Watch any good craftsman from carpenter to visual artist. Their tools of their trade are cleaned and put away for their next use. A carpenter knows with the right tools at the ready they can construct anything. What they conceive they can build. The tools are not their life or livelihood, but they are an access point to creating what they want. Likewise, for you a strong money system is caring for yourself so money can take a back seat but build the life you envision.
Your money leaves clues. Clues are everywhere. Here are a few to get you started looking for yours, but this is only a limited list:
Your wallet and the material and contents say a lot about you. No, it does not mean go buy an expensive designer wallet. Rather, look deeper. Beyond Capital One’s catchy commercial with “what’s in your wallet?” is the inside information you need to understand more about your money habits.
A shabby leather one or a lovely vegan leather overstuffed with credit cards, or no wallet, just a phone with an id on the slot in the back. These all say a lot about who you are and how you treat your money.
What does your checking account say about you? Always running on empty? Or is it stuffed to the gills with money you do not know what to do with? Are you balancing it- reconciling what the bank has and you have? Or checking it on the fly, trusting whatever the bank says at the moment? This second approach is oblivious to the scheduled transactions coming or the withdraws not yet hit the account.
Or you may have everything on auto pay so you are not thinking about your checking account at all? But do you ever really know how much you have?
What about your savings account? How does that work? Do you have one? Do you contribute regularly withdraw often? Or rarely? That reveals a bit about you. Don’t have a savings account? That is a statement revealing your money habits too.
Where are your retirement funds? Don’t have any? Don’t know how your 401k or IRA is invested? Then, you may be ill prepared for what lies ahead. Your future matters.
Your money matters to your life. How you treat it today has implications throughout your life.
Without a doubt, health and family count. We have all learned that this year with the pandemic. Your money is essential to maintain your critical parts of living.
Too many people say they will wait until they make more money or win the lottery to learn more or organize their money. Like sharpening their saw, this money is a tool and a key element to improving your situation. The spiritual truth is key here: Take care of what you have to get more. Start with your current money and build to a financial resources – get organized, get a system, understand what you have and where it is.
Start simple by cleaning your wallet today.
Remember What You Can Change....
In these times of uncertainty….
The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. –
Charles Swindoll
Don’t be Complacent! Act Today
Signs Your Thinking & Acting Complacent:
My vote does not count.
The stock market always goes up.
Nothing I can do helps improve the world.
Those are the comments of the complacent. So now we hear so much about voting. Get out to vote – And your vote matters. You have heard all about voting by now. But have you been complacent in other areas?
Think specifically about your engagement in your finances. Taking care of your money and knowing what you have is a key ingredient to financial success. On the investment side, believing they always increase is an uninformed statement. By nature, the stock market goes up and down. Position your investments for the long-run, rather than following the latest trends is an important strategy. You may not have control over the market, but you do over your finances.
Every day we have opportunities to make a difference in someone’s life. You do not have to do anything major to improve someone’s life, nor does it have to cost money. This may be with a phone call, a smile or a kind word. These things can make a difference for a moment or a day. Never underestimate your power.
Engagement in our world matters. Complacency is the problem. Whether it is your vote, your finances or your community. You can make a difference. Improve your world intentionally today.
Times of Change
This morning I noticed the leaves are tinged with just the lightest of color. Fall is coming. Change is around us. As so much is happening in the world from wildfires to shutdowns to health issues, I find it most important to take a moment and see how change has affected us.
The past seven months have been overwhelming to say the least. Weathering such shifts is when the true change happens. And for each of us, this happens internally as much as externally. Our values, our choices, and our priorities change. What once seemed important in our life is no longer a necessity.
We can claim this as the “silver lining” in a pandemic but that is too simple. I think noticing change and recognizing it in us is a way of maturing and growing. The recent months just put miracle grow on what would have happened eventually. All this change is exhausting. Like the trees, we need to shed some of the old and have time to regroup. May we also be like the trees, holding on to our solid base of values as we move through the coming months. Taking care of ourselves is how we will each weather the whatever is ahead: financially, emotionally, and physically. Embrace the beauty of change.
June is Meant for Brides: What About the Weddings?
So many weddings have been postponed, cancelled or changed. But LOVE is not postponed.
What is to happen to the joy of celebration? Will our ideas about getting married change as a result of this pandemic? That is yet to be seen. However, there is a lot less money being spent on this event. The wedding business may suffer as so many are.
Time will tell. Just remember, love and commitment have not gone out of style.
Money is Energy - And Use that Energy Well
What you do with your money, your money does to you.
Money is a manifestation of your dreams, your energy and yourself. People who have money are not “better off.” That is an expression that we humans developed to attach to our envy stages. People with more money are not necessarily happier or healthier or clearer with their life purpose. They just have more money.
The important things to address are how you view money. The language you use will give you clues on these views.
To help you contemplate deeper on Money and Happiness and Your Attitude, spend five minutes with this video. Then, reflect, write in a journal or talk to a friend about what Money Energy is doing in your world and your mind.
https://www.bbc.com/reel/video/p07vts5j/the-surprising-psychology-behind-being-rich
Father Knows Best: My Dad Knew How To Prepare for the Coronavirus
My Dad was right. I lived with him so had no preconceived notions that he was the man stepping out of the television show. Dad was a smart man. He often said it was because he went to “The College of Hard Knocks.” Yet, he left me with many pieces of wisdom that’s needed to persevere through this crisis and beyond. Here are some that feel specifically relevant right now.
Cash
Have money in the bank. Maintain money in savings, always. That is what you can use to protect yourself through thick and thin. Be a saver. He even had a poem to go with it about a tobacco box.
Real Estate
When buying real estate, buy for the long-term not today. A two bedroom condo is better than a studio he often said. “Be sure you have the extra room to rent in case of hardship.” Today I would add that if you are stuck at home, you have an extra room to be in. He also said own a bit of land. Today this land could be grass or a porch or small deck three floors up. We need fresh air and the light that outdoor space provides.
No Debt
My parents must have had a mortgage in my lifetime, but I never in my conscious state of finances from age 8 on, remember them saying they had to pay the bank the mortgage. Or equity loan. Or car loan. I know by the time I was a teenager he was preaching no debt except a mortgage. And then pay that mortgage as fast as you can.
Make Conscious, Long-term choices.
Dad made the tough ones. He never took a vacation, bought a car or a new suit that he did not have money. And by money, I mean cash. This included decisions as when he bought our lake house in New Hampshire. He paid cash. This was all he did in cash and how or why he was able is beyond my understanding. He did all this with kids to put through college, dance lessons, sports, braces (me) and glasses (me again!) All decisions for us and our futures. The toys, new clothes and fancy sneakers were not part of our upbringing. Good food, simple pleasures and working hard for any extras were just our family leader’s way of being.
Help others
Dad got people jobs, paid to bury people, and feed people who needed it. Yet, never talked about it. He did what he could and never complained. I could not believe some of the things I heard at his wake about the people he had helped, even beyond the ones I saw. He did not stop as he got older. He did not do it just for family.
Don’t Preach
Dad never gave me a sermon nor would he tell us children how to behave. Instead, he would quote others. These poems from his childhood were often repeated to the point we had them memorized ourselves! The message resonated. So perhaps rote learning does work if it is something of value to carry forward. Memorize a favorite poem together with your family.
Learn one new thing every day
He also lived with one room school house education but proved education did not end there. I believe because he was not always being taught, but had some independent learning with a teacher stretched to educate different ages, he learned to learn on his own. He appreciated reading. He read fast. We certainly can learn one thing a day today from the comfort of home.
My Dad may not have been the perfect Father from a television show. However, he had basic principles he passed on to his family. These financial and life learnings are some of the things that will and are getting us through this crisis. May you carry on prepared for each day as we weather this crisis one day at a time.
Make this time productive and beneficial by following Dad’s tips:
Learn One New Thing A Day
Memorize a Poem
Make Long term Choices
Help Others
Build a New Financial Habit
You will come out of this experience stronger and smarter than ever.
Some Rules for Surviving the Stay At Home Orders, Courtesy of my Mom
My Mom ran a “tight ship” when managing her family. Some of her lessons are ringing so true today as we are staying at home to stay healthy. I wish she were here to thank. Instead, I offer them to you as a pay it forward to many others, Thanks to Mom.
Here are my Mom’s strategies for a good life:
Wash Your Hands
I can picture the line and body bumping as we ran to the bathroom before dinner or a snack. They would look clean to us, despite the dark line of dirt under our finger nails. However, we were hungry and would follow directions by scrubbing with a nail brush as well as the Ivory soap.
Clean up Your Face
Did everyone have to wash their face before they ate? I think this was to make us look presentable whenever and wherever we ate. Good advice today as the easiest way to get sick is when the disease hits our face and airways. Now I understand, my Mom wanted us healthy as well as presentable.
Make Your Bed
I am not a fan of this one, but we were required to do it every day. When I lived in a dorm room I always made my bed as it was our only living space. As soon as I got my first apartment, I loved not having to make my bed! Felt like a protest against my Mom’s rules. Then, I came around partially because I lived in a studio and partly because of practical reasons. As long as my bed was made, I seldom wanted to crawl back in it after my shower instead of heading to work at 6 am. I merged the attitude and make your bed with buying a duvet. The perfect solution. Not military approved but surely works for me as a good compromise.
Go Outside
As kids she would send us outside. Yes, those were different days you may say. But I think without knowing the current research, she knew some Vitamin D and outdoor exercise was good for our health (and probably her mental health as well.)
Learn to Swim
Okay, nothing we can do with this one during the COVID-19 outbreak. Do not share swimming water with anyone! Skip Mom’s this bit of her advice today, but look forward to implementing this one in the summer.
Prioritize Sleep – Go to sleep.
Before a big high school exam she would tell me sleep is better than an extra hour of studying. My Mom had no scientific data to quote; Though, I did notice years later a study confirmed her sleep approach. Even in college I followed her advice. I headed to bed at a decent hour on the eve of exams. If I was really feeling short on the information, I would get up an hour early and with a refreshed brain, study up a bit. The approach seemed to work. I made it through college and grad school, too.
Be Kind
My Mom was always thinking of others, not just us, but the neighborhood and friends. She thought nothing of picking up the phone to check on an elderly neighbor or to touch base with an old friend. She knew reaching out was a kindness to others whether they lived alone or not. Maintaining connections takes effort.
Listen to Music
Music changes everything. My Mom loved to dance but really would do anything to music. As she cooked and cleaned, she listened to her favorite music. Music makes life a bit easier.
Everyone will have their good days and bad days through this pandemic. However, let’s keep moving to take care of ourselves, each other and the future.
Improve A Loved One’s Life Today compliments of Mom:
Send Them Some Music
Have a Video Chat
Share this piece on My Mom’s Wisdom
You will make their day by staying in touch.
Stay safe, Stay well, Stay Home.
What a Grandmother Teaches us to Weather these times:
I have found myself thinking of both my grandmothers during this strange time of times. Nanie is the grandmother I knew and loved and spent time with the most. Her influence was more of a third parent than an elder once removed. I also have thought of Nan, the paternal grandmother I never met. I knew her through the stories my Dad and his siblings told me of her life in Ireland with a few years in Boston as a young woman.
Nan feels especially close during this health crisis. My Auntie Mae, her daughter, told me how Nan had survived the Spanish flu of 1918. She was a young mother of 5 who got so sick a nurse had to be called in for daily care. The nurse died from the flu. Nan survived or I would not be here writing this blog.
Nanie is on my mind because so many of her lessons are meant for today. She lived through the depression with her own young family. Still, she managed to hold on to their home and husband while feeding her family of five and a few more immigrants. How did she do it? I cannot tell you for sure as that was long before my time. However, I do know the invaluable life lessons she taught me. I share them as a way through this pandemic for all of us:
Sleeping - Nanie always said an hour of sleep before midnight is better than all the hours after it. This may have been a farmers’ tale, however I learned it best myself. I never had to get up and milk the cows. In this time of crisis, sleep is crucial. For health – physical as well as mental. And a great way to relieve stress.
Cooking – My Nanie could make anything taste good. She was an amazing yet simple cook. Leftovers were fabulous when they came out of her electric fry pan, off the stove or out of the oven. The first time around her meals were large enough to feed an army. She also made the best Irish bread and treats. What was truly remarkable is that I never saw her consult a cookbook or watch a cooking show. She was a natural. Nothing fancy but love enclosed with practice and talent.
Cleaning – I loved helping my grandmother clean her home – a direct contrast to cleaning with my Mom. Nanie and I would dust, sweep, vacuum and wash. Then, she would say, “We have done good enough. Let’s have some tea and a treat.” This is true today. Clean. Disinfect. And do the best you can. Then, rest. Perfection is hard to come by. Do a good job. Consistency and cleaning will keep us safe. Stressing lowers our immune systems.
Sharing With Others - Nanie always shared what she had. This included her home with close relatives and friends who needed a place to stay. She sent money home to Ireland so others could immigrate to the United States, like herself. And she fed so many people. She never had much herself, but always welcomed others. (See #2)
Daily Dressing - My Nanie was a widow who rarely had anywhere to go but was always dressed each and every day. Unless someone was coming to pick her up for church, or a doctor’s appointment or grocery shopping, she could be found at home. She looked forward to social gatherings and going out but spent a lot of time alone. So in these times we can learn something from Nanie. Get up. Get dressed, wash your face and start your day. No matter what you are doing or not doing getting ready is energy clearing. Washing the sleep out of your eyes, brushing your hair and your teeth are a sense of clarity and readiness. Having a routine is important. Start your day with one.
Remember the generations ahead of us paved the way. They may have not lived through anything like this, but they have pearls of wisdom that may just help make your today better. Practice some of Nanie’s approach to living or find a few favorites from your ancestors.
Learnings from The Pandemic
Today I am clear on what I learned and have relearned about myself through this crisis. I share them today so that you may reconsider what you may be learning through this crisis.
Here are my Seven Self Care Tips:
1. Accomplishing Something – even bake a loaf of Irish bread- keeps me grounded and appreciative during this time and any stressful life experience. The secret is to complete some project or activity.
2. Exercising helps my mind body and spirit. Not to mention contributes to a better night sleep.
3. Going Outside – no matter the weather – relaxes and refreshes my mind and soul. This does not have to be for long as breathing small amounts of fresh air are helpful. Combined with # 2 enhances both.
4. Working can be a tool for avoiding feelings. Use appropriately and do not overuse. Because the flip side is that work can provide structure and a routine when needed most. A sense of competency and control when the world is unknown.
5. Reading is a form of escape for me. The lighter, more interesting the book or piece the better. Engaging something outside of the current world is a refresh button for the body and soul.
6. Staying Connected to family and friends and your spiritual practice. Reach out. Meditate. Make a video phone call with one friend or family member or the whole group. Make it a routine.
7. Listening to Music is a the food for the soul. Play music as much as you can when home. Set it to the your mood or favorites or learn some new music. Throw in a dance move and you have combined with #2 and had some fun to boot.
For those unable to go outside, or practicing medicine (Thank you!) too exhausted to work, please breathe deep and find one thing that is helping you cope today.
The Stock Market Voyage
March is the month in New England that brings a shift of weather. The winds are strong, the sun is higher, the snow is melting and the sap is running for maple syrup. Along with the winds of change, there is the hope of spring amidst the muddy roads. We New Englanders are used to the changing seasons. They arrive four times a year and despite the daily variety, they fall in semi regularity.
As investors, we are not used to the volatility of the stock market. I may smile and notice today started out 30 degrees warmer than yesterday or 30 degrees colder, acknowledging that is all part of New England weather. However, when investors see the market down a thousand points and up a few hundred, only to go down again, there is a sense of lack of control. The uncomfortable feeling of not knowing what to do. What we are used to is a change in the market. The change where it goes up. No one wants to see it go down. But the fact is the stock market by nature is volatile. We do not have any control over the stock market then we do the weather.
Living with market volatility is not for everyone. That is why adopting an investment strategy and sticking to it whatever the market session is doing is the way of the long term. An investment strategy means you have enough cash to weather a year of your life, you have a source of stable investments and are in the stock market that suits your personality and age.
Here are the questions I have been asked over the past week:
What should I do?
What do you think of the market?
What is going to happen next?
There is no one right answer. You need to develop a strategy that works for you.
We never know in New England when a big storm is going to hit, though meteorology is getting better at predicting it. However, we can have a plan for a stash of food, fire wood for the stove and even a backup generator if we wanted. This is being prepared.
Be Prepared in the stock market means you have a strategy to sustain you no matter what happens during its unpredictability.
So if the volatility of the past few weeks is sending you into panic and a round of questioning, stress may be making you feel the need to do something in a venue you cannot control. Perhaps if you are overwhelmed with its loss, you need to ponder if the stock market is for you. Maybe it is not and the reliability of cash and consistency of bonds’ returns will better suit your personality and time of life. And if you do not want to give up on the market but are feeling unsteady, maybe a switch to less of your money in the stock market would better suit you. Then, whatever the year and decade ahead holds, you would weather with lower stress levels. After all, New Englanders are known to fly south for most of the winter and some for most of the year. The conditions are less harsh and more predictable. No one judges them for wanting a simpler life. You too can make a simpler life while staying put.
Instead of watching the news, opening your statements and wondering what is going to happen next in the economy or investment world. Think about what suits you. Are you are risk taker? Do you handle financial stress well? Then, take one small action that will fit you and your money best. Drastic measures never saved anyone.
Fiduciary
Certified Financial Planners must abide by the fiduciary standard. Not all financial advisors do. What is it? What does it mean?
Terminology: “Fiduciary.”
One who acts in utmost good faith, in a manner he or she reasonably believes to be in the best interest of the client. A CFP® professional must at all times act as a fiduciary when providing Financial Advice to a Client, and therefore, act in the best interest of the Client. In this regard a CFP® professional must:
Duty of Loyalty:
Place the interests of the Client above the interests of the CFP® professional and the CFP® Professional’s Firm;
Seek to avoid Conflicts of Interest, or fully disclose Material Conflicts of Interest to the Client, obtain the Client’s informed consent, and properly manage the conflict;
Act without regard to the financial or other interests of the CFP® professional, the CFP® Professional’s Firm, or any individual or entity other than the Client, which means that a CFP® professional acting under a Conflict of Interest continues to have a duty to act in the best interest of the Client and place the Client’s interest above the CFP® professional’s.
Duty of Care:
A CFP® professional must act with the care, skill, prudence, and diligence that a prudent professional would exercise in light of the Client’s goals, risk tolerance, objectives, and financial and personal circumstances.
Duty to Follow Client Instructions:
A CFP® professional must comply with all objectives, policies, restrictions, and other terms of the Engagement and all reasonable and lawful directions of the Client
In honor of Jane Bryant Quinn
Jane Bryant Quinn has been a personal financial journalist I have admired and respected over the years. This month she has retired. I thought I would share some of the resources she recommends as a tribute to the woman who has meant so much to me:
Here are links to free resources that Jane Bryant Quinn has found to be helpful:
Social Security Administration - Frequently Asked Questions https://faq.ssa.gov/en-US/
Medicare https://www.medicare.gov/
IRS - Information about saving for retirement in an Individual Retirement Account (IRA)
Answers to basic IRA questions, https://www.irahelp.com/faqs.php
IRA contributions and withdrawals https://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p590a.pdf
Bankrate.com - Directory of high-rate certificates of deposit (CDs) https://www.bankrate.com/cd.aspx
Securities & Exchange Commission - Investment Adviser Public Disclosure (for checking the background of a broker or financial adviser) https://www.adviserinfo.sec.gov/
FINRA - Information about investing and avoiding fraud, from the securities industry’s regulatory body http://www.finra.org/investors
NASAA - Contact information for your state’s securities regulator http://www.nasaa.org/about-us/contact-us/contact-your-regulator/
NAIC - Contact information for your state’s insurance commissioner https://www.naic.org/state_web_map.htm
529 College Savings Plans - Directory of inexpensive plans that help families save for higher education https://www.savingforcollege.com/
Take an Extra Moment and Get Unexpected Benefits
Yesterday in the midst of travelling home after a lovely weekend with friends. I stopped to grocery shop at a Market Basket just off the highway. I do that because the pause breaks up the long drive but most importantly, it’s a great place to shop. – Great prices and lovely employees. (I never mind giving a plug to a business I admire.)
This was a quick shop as I was trying to get home before the early darkness of the time change. One thing on my mental and empty stomach list, was an already cooked chicken. They do a great job and I knew I was not up to cooking when I arrived home. And I am always up for eating!
I was disappointed to wheel my shopping cart by the warming spot and find no chickens – only cooked chicken legs – not nearly enough to feed my husband and myself. I did the rest of my shopping and swung back by the deli area to find still no chicken! My dinner plans will have to change. I paused in thought and considered asking the busy deli men behind the counter if there were more chickens anywhere. I decided to just skip it and head to check out.
When I turned around, I found another woman looking forlornly at the empty warming shelf. She said, “No more chicken? How disappointing!” I smiled, looked at her and said, “My thoughts exactly. I was just thinking of asking them if more were coming out. Would you like me to do that?”
“Oh, that would be great!” she said with a big friendly smile. The harried man behind the counter told me more were coming. Still considering the mountain roads ahead, I asked how soon – “They are just taking them out of the oven,” responding as if he had answered this question twenty times already. I can wait I thought. And I responded to the lovely lady that they were on their way.
The small dog in the child’s seat in basket was a perfect conversation starter. The red plaid flannel was covered with security dog. I asked about the animal. Another women approached and asked if she could pat the dog. “This is not my dog, it is my husbands. He is away. “ She started to educate us. “The dog is because he is deaf and assists him in hearing everything from the phone to the doorbell or alerting him to safety issues.”
I had never heard of a hearing dog and had many questions. It was fascinating! The dog could even tell when his migraines were coming on. She spoke of other dogs that helped with diabetes and epilepsy as well as other ailments. We marveled at the miracle of animals natural senses. They are so attuned and aligned with nature. Our conversation meandered from there about Maine – where I had just come from and where her husband was hunting, to maple sugaring because “Sugar” was the canine’s name to just smiles of understanding of the woods and beauty of nature.
Linked by chicken, we could have stood there all evening. After everyone else had wandered away and we had introduced ourselves, I started to think I would not be having any chicken for dinner. I told her I may need to give up and she said she would do her shopping and circle back. “But wait a minute, “She paused, “I’ll ask this time.”
My co-conspirator in chicken snatching, Dawn, was assured they were just labelling the chickens and our conversation continued. She was glad she was not going to have to cook something as now she had more time to read! So we were off on the pleasures of a good book… We could smell the chickens before they appeared. Our wait was so worth it. The young man informed us they could not keep these on the shelf. He was only carrying six.
I was so glad I waited. My heart was smiling as I parted from my new fleeting friend and headed to the checkout. I got my chicken – hot and fresh from the oven. But I got so much more from that moment. A wonderful connection. Education on hearing service dogs. And a recommendation for a great read for an upcoming flight! Take an Extra Moment this week. One never knows what goodness and smiles will come from the pause in your busy life.
Ready to Retire?
You want to finally retire from your job or your business? The end game is accumulate money and move on? Begin with the key points of what you want in mind. Align with your values - Why are you selling? Why are you retiring? Two pieces remain to look at from your point of view. First, the “Why now?” and second, “What are You Retiring to?”.
Remembering Anne Frank
“Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.”
The Hidden Staircase and Anne Frank’s memoir will in my mind for a long time. Today is the anniversary of Anne Frank starting her diary and I got to thinking…..Her book may have begun my fascination with World War II stories. Not the battles or the war strategy. The stories. The people who lived through it. Whether they were on the front lines seeing action, living in their hometown in terror or taken as POW or worse to concentration camps, I read them all.
What I am searching for I do not know. But the tales of resilience and strength and human kindness in the midst of brutality somehow empower me to live on. These people no matter where they were or which side of the war, had parents, spouses, lovers, children and family. In their dire circumstances, they built family. They persevered beyond some things humanly inconceivable.
I never thought about going to Anne Frank’s house when I read the book. I envisioned the house. The house that was so far away in a foreign country that no one I knew had been to. I had the canal and brown clapboard house clearly pictured in my mind.
Then, three years ago, I found myself in Amsterdam. Her very city. Where Anne Frank lived. That was simply amazing to think about. More than forty years before I had read a book that changed my thinking and shifted me into much more appreciativeness. And now I was walking the streets of Anne Frank.
I went to her house. And there it was along a canal: brown and nondescript. Walking up the hidden staircase, gave me an airy feeling – it wasn’t the steepness or the narrowness – it was what these stairs had seen and who had walked there. I was just a tourist, a passerby but so many had paid dearly by walking these stairs.
Nothing prepared me to enter the attic rooms themselves. They were left as they were in the forties. Peeling wall paper. Bare minimum necessities for even that time. The iron sink and sparse décor. A whole life was lived here. Many lives were lived here. The rooms were decent size until you consider who lived there. And how long they had to stay put in a handful of rooms.
When I got to Anne’s room, I felt reverent. Here is a young girl, an author who held strong and focused on something beyond her current situation. She shared her story. She dreamed of a future. She made her best of her time hidden away. I was honored to share the space she had lived, written and slept in.
I wondered who had turned them in. And why? For food? Benefits? Life? Whatever it was, that was their story to tell. Their life to live. I can only imagine what strain brought them to that point in life. Where they were willing to trade a handful of people for something, anything.
Like so many, I wonder what would have become of Anne Frank had she lived. That was not to be. A blessing that her Dad lived and had the foresight and tenacity to get her diary published. That may be the only thing that saved him through the postwar years of loss and loneliness. I bless the woman who saved their personal items and Anne’s diary. She loved them and remains nameless as far as I know in all this. But that is the human side of the story. There is a human side in every WWII story. And I continue to treasure humanity. An anniversary of hope is worthy of mention.